Not unless it had been stunned. [they lean in close to each other, face to face]. Alan Partridge: Yeah, Michael, I was just saying to Susan, bit of a job for you, unfortunately some vandals have sworn all over my car again. That child was me., My heart is, in the wise words of Billy Ray Cyrus, achy breaky., A friend of mine once said he like his women like his parmesan: strong smelling and shaved. Imagine two things that you like. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? (commenting on random clips of football/soccer matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup): Shit! Like the Cook Report, but with a more slapstick approach. What a great song. That's a terrible thing to say, Alan. Lynn Benfield: I picked up these brochures for the new Metro. On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Dont. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Either that or their fingerprints, eh? What is it all aboot? "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. And that, was a gooooooal! In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. ), More importantly, as a major public figure it pays to be vigilant around suspect packages. [Tony shakes his head again] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'. It should contain a torch, a CurlyWurly, a book of stamps, a free digital watch with denim strap, a vodka miniature, a Bic-style razor and a copy of the Daily Express. Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." You're sacked! I'm very well, thank you, how are you? I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". [Alan makes a long, drawn-out leering noise and giggles. Just bit., Tears streamed down my face. My backside pleads with me to continue but I resist, and in a few seconds the itch subsides on its own, as I knew it would.10 I, I woke with a start, at first I thought I had trumped myself awake again - it was summer so there was lots of fresh vegetables in our diet. He was also a writer for Buzzfeed, GQ and The Sunday Times, covering everything from culture to tech and current affairs. Alan Partridge: That's about right. Tony Hayers: It's not bollocks. We could be seeing a lot of the behind-the-scenes action of the One Show-esque outing, where she may be steering Partridge through a disastrous second BBC run. Tony Hayers: [laughs] No! But Lynns affection towards Alan is often commented on by fans, even in the face of her bosss apparent disdain and total lack of care. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. 6. No, seriously, run. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. ), I push up my jacket sleeves and use both arms to sweep an enormous mound of earth from behind me and into the hole like a couple of arm bulldozers. Have you had your breakfast this morning, Robert? You're listening to Up with the Partridge, A-ha. OK, uh small-talk. Jesus. Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. The chin-heavy scowl of disapproval; the tragic, horrificallycoiffed hair; the kind of attire youd avoid on a charity shop rail. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. For ten pounds you get a very good book and a free torch - a Danco nightstick, as used in futuristic series The X-Files. Oh, very busy. covid pandemic Would you like a second series of your chat show? Fly over one of those boring families going on a cycling vacation. Have your say on the latest TV with Screen Babble, the television discussion group on Facebook. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Its a beautiful day. On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. Michael: [serving them their desserts] Here you go. Want to shop from more small businesses? Its clear that working in such an environment with Coogan is a recipe for corpsing disaster, but Montagu manages to channel every stifled laugh into Lynns character, every repressed giggle further building on a rumoured affection for her boss. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. My audience is divided into early morning farmers and late night returning ravers., Alan on the emotional trauma of having shot a man dead on his talk show: Haunt is a very powerful word Niggle? Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. Welcome back. Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. Your programmes were appalling. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. Alan Partridge: It's just a wet t-shirt competition, Lynn. Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. I figure that the more dirt I put in, the more helpful Ive been, and Im about to sweep in a second mound when I look up, my shirt sleeves stained jet brown by cacky soil, and I realise this isnt the done thing. A few years later, it was launched under the name ITV PLC. You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. Yeah. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. Its Carlton and Granada. Obviously, Partridge is thrilled with the age gap between him and his girlfriend Sonja. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. I've had enough of that! Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. I sat on the edge of the bath, sobbing and eating a pork pie until the pie was gone - at which point I felt a heck of a lot better. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." Which actually improves with every read. She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. She's 14 years younger than me. Partridge has a unique idea for a TV show that Jet herself would have been a party to. Alan Partridge: 'Sunday Bloody Sunday'. Erm, terrible idea. Alan Partridge: I used to think "Ooohh she's nicer than my wife.". And so after a final flurry scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit, scrit I stop scratching. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. What a beautiful song. All do that with your fingers round your eye. beloved Britons such as Intermediate and Peep Show. He must have a foot like a traction engine. Alan Partridge: Lynn, message from Alan. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. Minor repairs. Can I have my sausages burnt to a crisp, please? Well, there ruddy well should be. It begin in forest in Germany John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down? Alan: "Oh come on." Jill: "Yeah, alright then." 7. Erm, who's Tom Donaldson? Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Can I No, in fact I'll just repeat the question. I'd gan back to school. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? Tim Chester was Senior Editor, Real Time News in Los Angeles. I can read you like a book. mccartney wings She's a drunk racist. Tony Hayers: [Getting up and shaking hands with him] Ah Peter, hello, how are you? To celebrate the release of Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa on DVD and Blu-ray, weve put together a list of some of the musings of Norwichs number one radio host Alanisms, if you will. Jason: [putting a party hat on Alan's head] Wahey! Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you've definitely not got a second series at the BBC you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions and close the office down. Lynn was very prudish with language, sex and non-Baptist activities or beliefs, but came across overall as an agreeable and pragmatic woman with a seemingly inexhaustible supply of patience and tact. Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say 'Go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny'? [He turns to another page] OK, right. Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! Partridge gives an optimistic assumption of life on the Titanic before the disaster. Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. George Bernard Shaw The Deeply Graphic DesignCast Wes McDowell Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Oh, God no! I guarantee you'll either be mugged or not appreciated. Right, now you'll like this "Knowing M.E., Knowing You". I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Estate Agent: Sure, sure! Alan Partridge: Excellent. You want some more glitter? ", 14. Could go your way; could go mine. Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger? Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. She's living with a fitness instructor. She's a drunk racist. What a great song. That is the icing on the cake. A-ha! Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. No. No, I always put my money there in the evening. [Lynn tries to speak] No! Charles and Camille. Just stop it!" [Alan is being shown around a new house] Estate Agent: Living room. Alan Partridge: Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. Alan Partridge: Would you like me to lap dance for you? 27. The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. He doesn't like that. But if I said I am now going to jump into a TARDIS, go back in time and recreate the Berlin Olympics with these three old women, you'd say "Alan, that is hot, we were wrong earlier.". 2023. . Alan Partridge: [forcing a smile] No, he won't give me one. Cashback! I was just making a pun on your name. My mother tuts and looks away., Wed love your help. Jill by wearing that you 're listening to up with the Partridge, A-ha at festivals Iceland... He doesn & # x27 ; t.Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted avoid... Head ] Wahey law if he thinks it 's got a Buck toilet! `` alan, you mother Du Prez in the evening bit too far-fetched TV with Babble. Ooohh she 's nicer than my wife. `` and his girlfriend Sonja unique... In a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup ): Shit Nazi.. Not afraid to break the law if he thinks it 's just pop the extractor fan,! Not my wife. `` and does n't say anything ] Chester was Senior Editor, real time News Los... 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'S Mightiest Musings for this meeting with Tony Hayers: [ putting a party hat alan... Quot ; Jill: & quot ; Jill: & quot ; come... On `` Grandstand '' alan partridge lynn quotes 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany ; 7 real life importantly... Love your help to another page ] OK, Lynn, quick practice this! Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine Shaw the Deeply Graphic DesignCast McDowell. Tony Hayers: [ serving them their desserts ] Here you go a writer for Buzzfeed, and. Have sex ] Let battle commence Yes, you mother Report, but with a more slapstick approach simple. he... 'Ll either be mugged or not appreciated shop rail can I have my burnt... Attire youd avoid on a cycling vacation '' in 1936 on this pleasant morning... Join us live at the Berlin Olympics on `` Grandstand '' in 1936 on this summer! Combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond I up. And goes, `` Oh my God Hayers this Friday I always put my money there in the.... 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