The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, 'Fluctuations'. What happens when you lose your wallet in Canada? 90. How do you get 50 Canadians out of a swimming pool? 8. If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German 18. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong. You know you are from Canada when you know what a toque is. They eat the Ottawaffles! Because it might crack the ice up! What is the only place in the world where the United Kingdom and Latin America meet? She aims to inspire inform, and educate others about traveling in her home province of British Columbia. Canadians are emotionally very strong because when they get hurt emotionally, they can get their feelings checked for free! Lady: Why not? Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. Canadian weather is snow joke. 40. Who? Sadly, Nunavit! From an Ancient Sumerian clay tablet c. 1900 B.C. 7. In this list we have arranged for you some of the funny Canadian jokes. How does a Turkey drink her wine?In a gobble-let.What happened when the turkey got into a fight?He got the stuffing knocked out of him.What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?If your father could see you now, hed turn over in his gravy!How did Albert Einstein celebrate Thanksgiving?He was very thinkful.How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?One, but you really have to squeeze him in!Why cant you take a turkey to church?Because they use such FOWL language.Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?He was exceeding the feed limit!What did the monster say to the Thanksgiving turkey?Pleased to eat you!What did the little turkey say to the big turkey?Peck on someone your own size!What do you get after eating way too much turkey and dressing?Dessert, of course!Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?The turkey, hes already been stuffed!Why did they let the turkey join the band?Because he had the drumsticks.Why did the police arrest the turkey?They suspected it of fowl play!Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?Because he was out standing in his field!What is a scarecrows favorite fruit?Straw-berries!If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?Pilgrims!What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?Your nose!What always comes at the beginning of parades?The letter p!What should you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?A har-vest!If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?Their age!What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?Pumpkin pi! The other said, "What for?". He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in. Whats the Great White North like for a newcomer? Punchlines often include words or phrases that can have more than one meaning. Why are Canadian students so smart?They get a lot of ehs.What time was it when the monster gobbled up the Prime Minister?Eight P.M.What has antlers and sucks blood?A moose-quito.What does Canada produce that no other country in the world can?Canadians!How do you get a Canadian to apologize?Step on their foot.Why do Canadians have a hard water problem?Its frozen most of the year!How did the beaver get online?He logged on.What did the beaver say to the maple tree?Its been nice gnawing you!Why shouldnt hockey players tell jokes on the ice?Because it might crack up!What do Canadian ghosts eat for lunch?Boo-tine!Whats yellow, has red hair and freckles, and lives in PEI?Banana of Green Gables!Someone tried to sell me Canada.But I was having Nunavut.Why did the fugitives run to Canada?Because they had nowhere else Toronto.Where are there a lot of Bigfoot sightings?In Sasquatch Ewan!Why did the pirate move to Manitoba?He heard he could Winnipeg! How do you get a Canadian to apologize? So, without much ado, let us dive into the world of Canada jokes and puns and Canada one-liners! But you need a fantastic sense of humor to get the brilliance of Canadian jokes! Even for a fellow American, these jokes about Toronto and other Canadian cities are hilarious! Were celebrating Canada Day!Knock, knock.Whos there?Ice.Ice who?Ice to meet you, eh?Knock, knock.Whos there?Ottawa.Ottawa who?Ottawa-ter the lawn tomorrow.Knock, knock.Whos there?Yukon.Yukon who?Yukon see the Northern Lights from here!Knock, knock!Whos there?Canada.Canada who?Can Ada come and play please mum?Knock knock.Whos there?Honeydew.Honeydew who?Honeydew you wanna dance?Knock knock.Whos there?Juno.Juno who?Juno how funny this is?Knock knock.Whos there?Boo.Boo who?Awww, dont cry!Knock knock.Whos there?Jimmy.Jimmy who?Jimmy crack corn and I dont care!Knock knock.Whos there?Bologna.Bologna who?Bologna sandwich with mayo and cheese, please.Knock knock.Whos there?Weekend.Weekend who?Weekend do anything we want.Knock knock.Whos there?Watts.Watts who?Watts for dinner? We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so its important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. Habs fans are everywhere and theres nothing funny about the most storied team in NHL history. Nissan - Made in Japan! "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. Everyone in Canada knows this, which is why its so frustrating when people around the world dont seem to realize that our home isnt simply the 51st state of the U.S. Their confusion is somewhat understandable: Canada and the U.S. are such strong allies and many Canadian celebrities hop the border to find success in Hollywood. Why are Canadians always encouraging people and giving them belief? Everyone loves a good Canadian, and we are pretty good at laughing about our quirks. I think it's part of the news of knowing the 'inappropriate names'. And the Canadian responds to him "Nah, just a bit, eh.". What would the space program be called when the United States and Canadians collaborate? 30. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. One day the elderly couple recived a letter stating that they were now considered full American citizens and there property was deemed as American soil. Keep reading for all of the best jokes about Canada. Off we go! You know you are from Canada when you know exactly where you were when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal at the Vancouver Olympics in 2010! Why is Canada the best dam country for storing water resources? Canada jokes are so polite that you cannot help but laugh at them! 99. We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. But to understand funny Canada jokes, you must have a great sense of humor! Score: 2. "Come on, there's all those gorgeous girls in various countries getting into bed and getting out of bed. In this list we have arranged for you some of the funny Canadian jokes. Canadian jokes can have a wide variety of components. I had a bunch of Canadian dollars I needed to exchange, so I went to 89. But, the border patrol were having Nunavut. But don't worry. Most Canada-related puns can be turned into one-liners or Canada jokes. What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. 65. They're out walking in the wilderness, when suddenly this huge moose walks past them. I was surprised to see the rate of crime on Canada's east coast is pretty high. "Who let Sled Dogs out, who? What is the greatest irony regarding peaceful Canadians? Kidadl is supported by you, the reader. 91. Stop elephant poaching, everyone knows the best way to eat an elephant is grilled. This is because they love watching 'Corner Gas'! 96. 11. What is the go-to song for a Canadian who is very excited? Because he was watching a game of hockey! One turned to the other and said, "I'm sore, eh?" 75. If they switch to your side, they're Italian The movie is a showcase of the comedian's well-known risqu humour. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. One's man's trash is another man's treasure. After they were done, they sat together in the locker room. "That's just one of our Canadian moose." You call it Can'tada! I asked my tour guide to make a joke about Canada. It is the Trailer Park Boys! "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman. he asks. "Is the baby in your stomach?" - he asks, with his big eyes. In Canada the seasons are, almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. Let me tell you!" It is called The Adventures of Tarsand! Canada Jokes #19 - 10. This category is all about the clever Canadian jokes. How much of Northern Canada can actually be inhabited by humans? Here are the results: - 10 % to raid the fridge. The Canadian says, "7" The gas attendent says, "You were close, sir, but the number was 6. You know you are from Canada when You dont know or care about the fuss with Cuba, its just a cheap place to travel with good cigars and no Americans. 56. However, if youre ordering fries and youre asked if youd like poutine instead, your answer should always be yes. No senior leader is going to put their career on the line for being stupid (2 . How do Canadians take care of their hair? The joke is one of the earliest types of narrative. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. 2. It was called the moose-quito! Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence." After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm? I was invited to Canada by my friends over there because they were planning to have a New Year's part-eh! I have two Canadian jokes: Re: Americans: Why is American beer like having sex in a canoe? 100. Every Canadian can jump higher than the CN Tower because a tower cannot jump! It's true. by Stephen on January 16, 2013. They meet in British Columbia. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. I don't know why the maple syrup is always so sad. Just one lady in front of mean Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars and she was a little irritated. Now that you know the Canadian insults to avoid, check out the Canadian road trips everyone should take at least once. As this suggests, racist humor is 'put down' humor. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Whats an example of a Canadian tourist advertisement?This is the land where frostbite and sunburn happen in the same week.How does a Canadian confess their love?By saying, I love you more than poutine!Whats every Canadians favorite soap opera?The Cold & The Beautiful.I told my friend Im not really CanadianBut he was having Nunavut!Why isnt Canada real?Its all mapleleaf.A Canadian man told me he was 100 years old.I replied, I Canada beleaf you are 100!While we were on a hunting trip to Canada, there was this deer that we kept tracking but couldnt catch.It led us on a wild moose chase.What did the super-fan say when the Canadian National Team won the Hockey World Cup?What eh time to be ehlive!My friend told me a joke about the Candian Rockies.They were absolutely hill areas.What type of public transport do Canadians like for visiting America?Zambonis.What do all the people in the Capital of Canada eat for their breakfast?Ottawaffles.What happens if you lose your wallet in Canada?Youll get it delivered to your house.How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?None they accept things the way they are.What was the Canadian skeleton doing at the hockey game?He was there to drive the zam-bone-i!What happened when two Canadian musicians met during the fire at the gaming stop?They formed Arcade Fire. 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